Child Porn Theory

I’m kind of obsessed with the show Snapped.

My favorite episode is about a woman named Larissa Schuster.  Larissa worked in a lab as a Bio-chemist.  She was going through a divorce from her husband Tim Schuster.  With the help of her lab assistant, James Fagone, she kidnapped her husband.  She used chloroform and a stun gun to paralyze him.  While he was still breathing, she put his body into a 55-gallon barrel, filled it with hydrochloric acid, and sealed it shut.  She put the barrel containing her husband’s body into a storage unit, and then she went on vacation and waited for him to dissolve.

While she was on vacation, investigators discovered the storage unit.  Upon entering, the officer sent to search it said he smelled a strong odor.  The drum was taken by the police and opened.  Inside they found the half dissolved remains of Tim Schuster, intact only from the waist down.  There were no teeth to use in identifying the body, and no fingers for taking prints.  Of the 103 pounds that remained of Tim Schuster’s body, the only organs were his liver and kidneys.  The body was identified using DNA.

After a five year trial, Larissa Schuster was sentenced to life in prison.  Her own daughter said she felt safer with her mother behind bars.

I would imagine that Tim Schuster never thought that Larissa would do something so horrific.  He married her, knew her for years and years, had children with her, shared a life with her.  And then she not only murdered him in the most gruesome of ways, but went on vacation while she waited for his body to dissolve.

It all goes back to my Child Porn Theory.  You think you know somebody.  You trust them, you rely on them.  You know them for years and years.  And then you find a box of child porn in their basement.

Or maybe I just have trust issues.

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11 Responses to “Child Porn Theory”

  1. Tova Says:

    Isn’t it annoying when you’re watching the door, and they’re not coming in because they’re off looking at child porn?

  2. Ashleigh Says:

    Jen just read this post and emailed me: “Should I be worried? I just read your blog again. You write beautifully, but…”
    I replied and said that except for the obvious things, everything is fine. I just really like that show. Really. My dad likes it, too.

  3. Rona Says:

    I feel like there would be SOME sign of the child porn at some point somewhere in between talking about the gas bill and the leaky roof. Right? Hi Keepmywordsashleighawalkerbangs!

  4. Ashleigh Says:

    For the sake of all the people in relationships with child porn enthusiasts, let’s hope so…

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  7. Justin Tiemeyer Says:

    i would totally go on vacation while the body was dissolving. otherwise you’re tempted to go back to the scene of the crime and check in on things.

    also, is your child porn theory based on donnie darko? because i can’t imagine any character played by patrick swayze would have child porn, and then bam: in jail.

  8. Ashleigh Says:

    Donnie Darko is where the idea originated, but I don’t doubt that there are really child porn dungeons in this world. Also, I want to make out with Jake Gyllenhaal.

  9. Justin Tiemeyer Says:

    i want to make out with any white man who can get cast as a persian. its either a sign of good acting or the fact that americans are terrified of people who aren’t white.

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