A Science Project

I have been trying to figure out if that feeling in my chest is me missing him, or just me needing a cigarette. I have decided, as any logical person would, to use the scientific method in hopes of reaching a conclusion.

Step 1: Ask a Question

This step is easy. Is that feeling in my chest caused by me missing him or me needing a cigarette?

Step 2: Do Background Research

I read on ScienceBuddies.org that this step is necessary in order to “find the best way to do things and insure that you don’t repeat mistakes from the past.” Through my (brief) research, I found that when a person craves a cigarette, he/she experiences a tight feeling in his/her chest. I also read that when a person misses someone, that person feels it in his/her chest. Needless to say, this experiment is very significant for all of the heartbroken smokers of the world. Please note that I am not even going to touch the “insure that you don’t repeat mistakes from the past” portion of this step for a variety of reasons. These reasons include, but are not limited to: repeating mistakes from the past is a special skill of mine, sometimes mistakes from the past provide a momentary bit of pleasure, and I am fairly confident that no one has attempted this experiment, therefore no mistakes exist. They are all mine to make, shiny and new.

Step 3: Construct a Hypothesis

ScienceBuddies.org also tells me that a hypothesis should be an educated guess about how things work. For example: If I do this, then this will happen. After some careful consideration, I have decided that this experiment will need to have two hypotheses: (1) If I smoke a cigarette, this feeling in my chest will stop. (2) If I am with him, this feeling in my chest will stop. The independent variable in experiment (1) is the cigarette, and in experiment (2) it’s the presence of him. The dependent variable in both is the feeling in my chest. I suppose the controlled variable would be… me.

Step 4: Test Your Hypothesis by Doing an Experiment

It is clearly stated on ScienceBuddies.org that you should repeat your experiments several times to make sure that the first results weren’t just an accident. Excuse me while I smoke.

Now, I am ready to test the second hypothesis. For reasons beyond my control, like my lack of power over another human being, I cannot make him be here. I did remove him from my life. (Or did I run away? In any case, the end result was the same.) When he was in my life, I do not recall having this constant feeling in my chest. I have seen him twice since I decided to not see him. I am hesitant to consider these encounters parts of the experiment since (a) I was highly intoxicated both times, and (b) although I saw him (in chronological order: one time resulted in a brief hug and one time resulted in me literally running away), these moments cannot be studied as if they are spending time with someone, which would be needed to cease the feeling of missing someone. More so, these moments are like looking at photographs of someone you miss. In hindsight, I know that they just intensified the feeling in my chest during and immediately following the periods of time that they occurred.

Furthermore, I must recognize the possibility that what I am identifying as “missing someone” may be better defined as me experiencing the lack of something, like an emotion or feeling, not a specific person. It’s as if I got used to the presence of something in my mind, and now my mind is realizing that it’s not there. So I suppose the lack of the feeling of being with him, not exactly him as a physical entity (a body by my side and a mind to commune with), could also be the source of the feeling in my chest. If this is the case, then I am at a loss on how to conduct an experiment in which my feelings are the independent variable. I would like to claim complete control over my feelings, but if that were the case I would simply choose to stop the sadness that I feel. This entire “lack of something” idea also bothers me because I feel that it belittles the connection I had with him and demeans how wonderful I think he is.

Step 5: Analyze Your Data and Draw a Conclusion

This is where I declare my hypotheses as true or false.

In the first experiment, smoking a cigarette, although delicious and momentarily comforting, did not make the feeling in my chest go away. However it did seem to change the feeling and slightly lessen it for a while. It may be important to mention that since I have stopped seeing him, my cigarette habit has increased dramatically. The recent surge in the number of cigarettes I smoke a day may have some influence over this feeling in my chest. But because I am nearing the end of this science project, I will choose to ignore said detail and deem hypothesis (1) inconclusive.

Until I obtain the ability to travel through time, hypothesis (2) remains untestable.

Step 6: Report Your Results

See above.

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6 Responses to “A Science Project”

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    [...] still, I miss him. I know that this will pass, but it saddens me that we allow it to get farther and farther away, [...]

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    [...] hearing sounds and I appreciate being infatuated. Even when they cause pain in my eardrums or an ache in my chest. I’d rather feel everything than feel nothing at [...]

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  5. Justin Tiemeyer Says:

    If the two things are the only choices and mutually exclusive then you don’t have to test the second hypothesis. I know I’m saying this long after the fact, but I didn’t know you then and I’m trying to catch up.

  6. “Well, still, pretty good year.” | Keep My Words Says:

    [...] it was about one year ago that I decided to break my own heart before this guy [...]

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