Cynicism & Wishing On Stars

“Hey remember the other day when you said Rona was the dreamer and you were the pragmatist? What am I?” I asked Paisley.

“You’re the cynic,” she answered.

Cynics doubt because they question motives. I do this the majority of the time, often questioning my own intentions along with the intentions of others. There are people that I trust (for the most part), people that I doubt, and people that I keep at arm’s length.

Learning to trust is feasible; having that trust betrayed is possible.

It reminds me of wishing on stars. Maybe it’s juvenile, but I still do this, complete with the rhyme to preface the wish: Star light, star bright, first star I see tonight, wish I may, wish I might, have this wish I wish tonight. I wish… (I do feel like I am cheating on my cynicism when I perform this act.)

From what I understand after years of wishing on stars, this rhyme does not need to be spoken aloud, especially if there are other people present. Not for sake of embarrassment, but because if anyone hears the actual wish, it won’t come true. Additionally, as per the rhyme, one must make sure that he/she is wishing on the very first star that he/she sees.

The problem is not knowing if one is wishing on a real star. It could very well be a planet. Or maybe the wisher looked in the sky earlier and passively saw a star but didn’t make a wish. Then later he/she looked to the sky again and saw a second star. The person goes ahead and makes a wish that could never come true because he/she missed the “first star” he/she saw that night.

I have made many wishes on stars in my lifetime, so I couldn’t possibly list them all. I do know that I have made both simple wishes and convoluted wishes. I keep taking the chance because I know that at best something wonderful will happen (like my wish coming true), and at worst I will be disappointed. And although I wanted the wish very badly at the time, it could turn out that I forget ever desiring it. It loses significance. I may never know that I am actually better off without it.

It’s like my cynicism with people. Similar to my wishes on stars, I take a chance by trusting people. Often I am disappointed, but one day maybe something wonderful will happen. I find the amount of latent wishes and unrealized people fascinating.

3 Responses to “Cynicism & Wishing On Stars”

  1. Justin Tiemeyer Says:

    i often find that i doubt the good things in my life more than anything else. is that sad?

  2. Ashleigh Says:

    You might be asking the wrong person, because I don’t think it’s sad, I think it’s realistic.

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