Keep My Words

Today was the last day of classes.

Also, on Wednesday night I had dinner with Tim at Dumont. We hadn’t seen each other in a while.

“So, have you ruined that girl’s life yet?” I asked him. A while back we had a conversation in which Tim told me I was going through a phase (referring to my sadness and confusion about a boy). He told me his girlfriend is not so damaged. I told him he was her phase.

He laughed and confirmed that everything was going well between them.

“When you texted me the other day, I went to your blog to catch up on your life-” he started.

I cut him off. “Oh no! Was it the depressed self-hatred one?”

“Yup,” he said. “I stopped reading after the first paragraph. Same old Ashleigh.”

I feigned hurt. “Tim! You should have kept reading. I made up a disease. It was funny.”

He rolled his eyes. “Look, you know I think you’re a great writer.” (Tim has been very supportive and encouraging since I started my blog.) “I just think your best stuff if when you write about what you observe and things you have learned.”

Conversation eventually shifted to work…

“Some actors just don’t get it,” he said. “When you’re trying to get a job and someone asks if you can do something, you just say yes. Can you ride a horse? Yes. Can you play the trumpet? Yes. Can you speak French? Yes. Then you go and learn whatever it is you need to learn.”

I told him about my job at Mad Hatter. “We’re going to upstate to record an artist next weekend. Her name is Sami Akbari.”

“I’m going to Florida for a few months at the end of January for Shear Madness,” he informed me. “I’m playing the main part this time.”

“Tim that’s awesome! Congratulations!” I commended him.

He smiled. “Yeah, I guess it’s like a promotion.”

…Life….

“We need to do another photo shoot before you leave. I have nothing going on in January,” I told him.

He agreed. He mentioned how much he liked Tova and Rona and asked how they were.

…Love…

“All of those 80’s movies just made me believe that there’s that moment, and a bolt comes down from the sky and hits you and you’re like, ‘She’s the one for me, she’s it.’ But I’m starting to think that just never happens,’” Tim said. “What about you?” he continued. “Are you one of those people that needs to be with someone?”

“What do you mean?” I asked.

“Is it on your checklist in life? To complete you? To be happy? Do you need to find that person, or can you be alone?” he challenged me.

“Look, you met me at a weird time,” I answered. “I’ve always been alone. I don’t mind it, I’m happy. But I suppose it would be nice to have someone and them have you. To be in love.”

I thought more about my response than I spoke aloud, like how I am very happy for people that are in love. I think that it must be a very pleasurable thing to be, especially in the winter time, to have someone to keep you warm. It’s a winsome state, I suppose. I imagine it a thrill to be special to someone, and that person to you. I know I don’t need any of that, still it seems quite nice.

It was good to see Tim.

This entry was posted on Friday, December 11th, 2009 at 5:22 pm and is filed under Words. You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0 feed. You can leave a response, or trackback from your own site.