Keep My Words

It was a beautiful day.

Andrea, Becky, Caitlin, and I were at an Applebee’s somewhere between D.C. and New York. While Andrea and Becky perused the menu, Caitlin and I stepped outside to smoke cigarettes.

Upon exiting the establishment we immediately found a bench, most likely placed there by the fine people of Applebee’s for the enjoyment of nicotine-addicted customers like ourselves. We sat down and saw that directly in our view was a teenage girl sitting in her car. She was parked in a spot labeled “Carside To Go”.

Suddenly, out of the restaurant came an Applebee’s employee carrying a bag of food. The employee walked the 30-ish feet to the teenage girl’s car and handed over the neatly packaged meal. In exchange, the teenage girl gave the employee a credit card.

The employee then walked back into the restaurant. Moments later she emerged once more, and walked back to the car so that the young girl could sign the credit card receipt. The teenager drove away with her meal, never once having to endure the sunny, 75 degree, 30-foot walk into the corporate eatery.

Caitlin and I were amused. We stopped the Applebee’s employee as she walked back towards the door.

“Excuse me, um, how exactly does this work?” Caitlin asked, though the tone of her voice and look on her face posed a different question: You understand how ridiculous this is, right?

The employee looked at us like we were crazy. “It’s Carside pickup. You just call and place your order, then you park in one of those spaces and we bring your food out to you,” she said and walked inside.

This left Caitlin and I to talk (and laugh) amongst ourselves. Instead of parking and walking what can only be a short distance in a lot so small, people would prefer to sit in their cars on a gorgeous day while an employee walks back (“Here’s your food!”), and forth (“I’ll just go run your credit card.”), and back (“Sign the top receipt and keep the bottom copy.”), and forth (“Thanks and have a great day!”).

In reality, it probably takes longer than if one were to just go inside and pick the food up him/herself.

Don’t get me wrong, we did see the benefits of such a service – elderly people, mothers with a car full of children, handicapped… wait a minute.

“Wait a minute,” I said. “Where are the handicapped spots?” Caitlin and I looked around… and around… and around. Behind us, noticeably farther from the Applebee’s entrance than the Carside To Go spots, were the handicapped spots.

We looked at each other, eyes wide and heads shaking.

“I am continually amazed at how lazy America can be,” I noted.

Our cigarettes were done. We went to our table and joined Becky and Andrea, who were still debating about what to order. I had made my decision long before our arrival. Actually, we were there for one purpose, and one purpose only:

“I’m going to eat the shit out of some ribs,” I reminded them.

This entry was posted on Friday, August 6th, 2010 at 2:47 pm and is filed under Words. You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0 feed. You can leave a response, or trackback from your own site.