«
»

February 17th, 2004 (Entry # 3)

(Entry # 1)
(Entry # 2)

(In black ballpoint pen, cursive handwriting:)

02.17.04

There’s no way it’s going to be as good as I think.  As I want.  Maybe as I need?  Will this destroy the little bit of faith left?  Is it not meant for me?  Am I not capable?  Or am I just scared?
What does he think?
Am I worth anything?  Is he just another one?  It’s possible, maybe likely.
But I can still dream “of Algernon.  I wake up crying… I just know that something good is gonna happen.”
God I hope so.  I’m ready to start living.  Not thru the TV anymore.  Life.  Real life.  Outside.
There’s not much time left until something.  I want to know what.  I hope not nothing.

As is commonplace in these situations, it was something that became nothing.  A beginning that turned into an end.  Longer apart than together.

But my faith was not destroyed.  I still hope Love can find me.

Completely unrelated, someone intruded upon my dreams last night.  What could have been beautiful was defiled, and I woke up aggravated and alone.

I didn’t know if I was mad at him for showing up or angry with my subconscious for letting him in.

This entry was posted on Wednesday, November 10th, 2010 at 9:14 pm and is filed under Words. You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0 feed. You can leave a response, or trackback from your own site.

One Response to “February 17th, 2004 (Entry # 3)”

  1. Justin Tiemeyer Says:
    November 25th, 2010 at 12:10 am

    If the dream intruder defiled beautiful things and left you aggravated and alone I can say, with a strong manly voice, “Not it.” Dreams are usually better with me in them. I am like a Disney sidekick getting into strange little side-stories by chasing squirrels or eating something too spicy. You should try to have more Justin Tiemeyer Disney dreams. Honest.

Leave a Reply