What Ifs and If Onlys
Monday, August 3rd, 2009It often happens that we momentarily forget the most common facts.
“What’s the name of the guy who wrote Huck Finn?” Mike asked.
“Mark Twain,” I reminded him.
“Right!” he said, now able to continue his thought. “It’s like that Mark Twain quote – ‘Some of the worst things in my life never happened.’”
I can relate to Mr. Twain. My mind has created miles and miles of fictitious betrayals in my life. The endless, taunting what ifs and if onlys are a plague on my possible contentment. I’m cynical and pessimistic, and although I can change many things in my life, I cannot fix this malfunction in my way of thinking. It mutilates my hope. Repeatedly I am destroyed by these things that have never happened. It’s a shame, quite honestly.
It may be worth noting that I put my easel together yesterday. Those who are (or have been) close to me know that I consider this kind of task a man-job, along with killing bugs, lifting heavy objects, and taking out the trash. But I needed the distraction. Not to mention, that canvas isn’t going to paint itself, and it wasn’t made to remain blank.
